You know you’re a Parent when…

In the mood for some public humiliation? I knew you would be. Unlike the old days when you had 4 channels of television, and even those were sketchy based upon your antenna placement, where a relative stood in conjunction to the antenna, and how many rolls of foil on the ears it took to get decent reception, we now have various tracking software that keep an eye on what you’ve most recently watched and usually recommends anything from closely related movies and shows, to obscure viewing like Ms. Diana’s Sensual Massage Techniques, Vol. 1.

I hereby submit to you all, in full disclosure, my last 25 recently viewed programs/movies on the Netflix IQ.

(These go in order of most recent to…well, you get the idea.)

1. Futurama, Vol. 3
2. Futurama Vol. 2
3. Thomas and the Really Brave Engines
4. Top Gear 11
5. Doctor Who, 2nd Season
6. Calling All Engines, Thomas
7. Futurama, Vol. 1
8. Track Stars, Thomas
9. Songs from the Station, Thomas
10. James Learns A Lesson, Thomas
11. Hooray for Thomas
12. The Great Discovery, Thomas
13. The Sandlot 2
14. Up
15. Steamies and Diesels, Thomas
16. Railway Friends, Thomas
17. Milkshake Muddle, Thomas
18. Rugrats, Season 1
19. The Sandlot
20. It’s Great to be an Engine, Thomas
21. Hey Arnold!, Season 1
22. Cranky Bugs, Thomas
23. Come Ride the Rails, Thomas
24. Thomas Gets Bumped
25. Doc Martin, Season 4

There’s not even an R-rated film in there to at least balance my cries of sanity. The good news is though, if you need me to sing the theme song, I’m available for birthday parties and bar mitzva’s. “They’re two, they’re four, they’re six, they’re eight…”

God, someone pour me a drink.